he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
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