think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
