I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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