i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
