Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
