i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Dicks are not precious.
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