I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
a search helicopter?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize