I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
