it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
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