Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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