it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
We need a shit load of segways right now
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
