It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
