Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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