Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize
