...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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