So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
