Nicole vs. Life
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
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Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
We had to coat check the pizza.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
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Champagne is a vitamin, right?
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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