Its about making memories worth repressing
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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