I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
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