I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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