I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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