I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize