Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
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whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
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Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
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