You really coming over, don't trick.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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