I hate your face
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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