i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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