so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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