haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
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Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
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the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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