Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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