I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize