My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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