Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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