420 ftw
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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