It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You dont lie about slip and slides
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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