What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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