Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
