Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize