They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
