I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
organizing the empties. That sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
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