During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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