They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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