I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
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