so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
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