Midget sex pt 2 tonight
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Is it penis luge time yet?
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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