and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
you guys were way drunker than both of me
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
