Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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