You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Randomize
