he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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