i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Randomize
