How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
