What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
