so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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